


Memories, an old Mp3 and first kisses

by SarcasticFallenAngel



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Bob Marley - Freeform, First Kiss, Fluff, Gay, Itty Bit of Angst, Jeremy can sing, Love Confession, M/M, Mentions of Self Hate, Mentions of the Squip, Meramy, Michael is shook, Mutual Pining, Post-Squip, boyf riends — Freeform, lots of fluff, old school songs because the author also hears them and is not ashamed, silly dancing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-12-03 14:02:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11533734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SarcasticFallenAngel/pseuds/SarcasticFallenAngel
Summary: A distraction, he needed a distraction. Thankfully, it didn't take long because low and behold, Mells headphones laid on the basements bed -said bed just proving how much time they spent down there- still plugged into a small green mp3. Jeremy smiled and took them both. Once the headphones were placed on his head he played whatever song was on at the moment, pressing the button with a small triangle on the metallic little square.





	Memories, an old Mp3 and first kisses

**Author's Note:**

> Le me is back!  
> Yes, I am on a run right now! Let's hope it stays the same way for a bit at least.  
> Anyways, just in case, TW:  
> -Mentions of self-hate  
> -Mentions of panic attacks  
> -Anxiety  
> -Suicide thoughts
> 
> I know it sounds pretty bad, but trust me it's not that angsty.

"Hey mikey I-" Jeremy's words fell silent when he reached the bottom of the stairs that led into the basement. Said basement lacking a very important individual, a chocolate eyed and red hooded teen also known as Michael Mell. Jeremy looked around and then searched in the bathroom but alas, his friend was nowhere to be found. Not even under the bed where he had hidden one too many times to scare the living bejesus out of Heere.

 _'Maybe he's in the bathroom upstair.'_ He thought, knowing that if Michael had been in his room he would have greeted him before he even set a foot in the house. With that in mind, the lanky teen took out a bag of skittles from the bag of snacks he had brought on his way over, opening it with his teeth and eating almost half of its content in one go.

There was a sudden squishing sound when he began to pace the room, and even though Jeremy didn't feel anything he still cringed, finding a big wet spot on the carpet. Trying to forget about that he continued walking around, taking in the sight of everything as if it were the first time he was down there, even though that basement has practically become his and Michaels shared room from the amount of time they spent there instead of their real rooms.

From the out of print games on the shelves and the pair or retro skates forgotten in one corner to the small sewing kit on a nearby nightstand, Jeremy got memories. So many memories of so many years together. The great majority were good memories although they did have their fair share of fights and arguments that still wouldn't let them hold a grudge for more than a couple of minutes before they were back to normal. There were also a lot of memories of them coping with their problems together, like their anxiety. Be it, Jeremy or Michael who was suffering the panic attack, they were always together, always caring for each other. Having each other's back.

There were so many memories that made him smile and have a warm tingle bloom in his chest. But there was also a part of his memories that was completely different. Everything that had to do with the Squip was blurry like looking through fogged up glass. Yet, there were some other parts of that time that he remembered all too well like he was hyper focused on them.

 

****_"Everything about you is so terrible"_ ** **

_Everything about me is so terrible._

_**"Everything about you makes me wanna die."** _

_Everything about me makes me wanna die._

 

Those two sentences were more than enough to have him wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. Enough to have him get up at least an hour and a half before the time he usually wakes up at so he can go over three, four or five times of what he's wearing. How his hair looks. Is there a new zit on his face? Does he really smell okay? Should he just shower again? 

They were enough to make him feel like everything would be better if he simply offed himself.

Jeremy shakes his head as if he could physically shake those thoughts away and out of his head for good. He had gone through this with Michael, they had worked through the whole _Squipcident_ -as Rich had called it- together. The two had worked so much just between them and with their new group of friends. They had come so far already, he wasn't going to fall down again. He wouldn't do that to himself again, to Michael. He wouldn't throw Michaels effort down the drain just because he couldn't handle some solitude with his thoughts.  
  
A distraction, he needed a distraction. Thankfully, it didn't take long because low and behold, Mells headphones laid on the basements bed -said bed just proving how much time they spent down there- still plugged into a [small green mp3](http://img.diytrade.com/cdimg/740724/6869828/0/1221034967/4GB_GREEN_SLIM_MP3_PLAYER_USB_FLASH_DRIVE.jpg). Jeremy smiled and took them both. Once the headphones were placed on his head he played whatever song was on at the moment, pressing the button with a small triangle on the metallic little square.

["Josie's on a vacation far away, come around and talk it over..."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJxwChDzA-8). The familiar words of the old tune made his lips curve up into a silly smile. He knew a lot of old songs thanks to his best friend, who was clearly obsessed with them. As the song continued to play on he slowly began to forget where he was and why he was there, singing under his breath as he danced a little to the words and tune in his ears.

\------

Michael was disoriented for a moment when he opened his eyes, wondering where he was when he wasn't greeted with the sight of shelves full with out of print games and the all too familiar fading scent of weed and cinnamon candles trying to hide the former.

It took him about five minutes to clean his glasses and sit up. When he was at least half awake he was finally able to make sense of where he was and why.

He had been waiting for Jeremy in the basement so they could play Apocalypse of the damned and later into the night binge watch some series. He then had remembered the new load of mountain dew red he had recently bought, getting one of the bottles out of the mini fridge. He had also tried to take a drink out of it but when he opened the lid all the sugary refreshment geysers out of the bottle, onto his clothes and part of the carpeted floor. That's how he had ended up in his room, changing his clothes and then falling asleep when he decides to just wait for Jeremy in bed.

He reached for his forgotten phone in his pocket and unlocked it to see if anything has happened while he had his impromptu nap.

> From: Jer-Bear ❤
> 
> Hey dude! I'm almost there. See you in like 5.
> 
>  

That message was from 15 minutes ago. Michael frowned because the house was still quiet and he knew that his friend would have looked for him if he didn't find him in the basement. With a shrug he got up, assuming the other teen had gotten caught up with something and was on his way over now.

It was better, that way Michael could try to dry the carpet before someone stepped on the spilled mountain dew in socks or barefoot. Making his way down he realized the house wasn't as quiet as he thought it was. There was a faint sound of someone's voice. He followed the sound and simply stared at the door that led to the basement, the voice coming from within it. He cocked an eyebrow and quietly made his way down, unable to believe what he was witnessing.

There, with his headphones and old mp3 was Jeremy Heere, his best friend, and crush of years, singing and dancing to none other than Bob Marley.

["I wanna love you and treat you right. I wanna love you, every day and every night."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-XbDj5n5-Q) His eyes were closed and it was rather obvious that he didn't know he had an audience now.

Michael leaned on the wall, arms folded over his chest as he enjoyed the little show. He would be lying if he said that that particular song didn't stir up emotion in his chest. There was also the fact that holy shit Jeremy can sing! Like really really good! That didn't help his poor gay pining heart either.

"We'll be together, with the rooftop over our head. We'll share the shelter of my single bed." Jeremy twirled and laughed with eyes still shut, looking so into the song. He looked very happy and calm and it filled Michael with so much more love than he thought was possible for a human to contain without bursting.

"Is this love is this love is this love that I'm feeling?" Jeremy came to a stop, a hand ghosting its way up to his chest where he gently clutched at his heart. It was so tempting to simply stride over and pull him into a hug, or a kiss, just hold him close. But Michael did neither, he simply watched.

"Is this love is this love is this love that I'm feeling?" Jeremy repeated, words filled with emotions as his hand went up, leaving his shirt in peace, rubbing at his eyes gently trying to stop the tears that threatened to escape. It was only at that moment that he finally opened his eyes, the sight of Michael leaning against the wall at mere inches made his heart go into overdrive.

"M-Michael!" Heere squeaked in surprise, looking away in hopes that his friend didn't see the tears at the corner of his eyes. Michael closed the space between them in a matter of a second, pulling the headphones down to rest on Jeremy's neck, looking at the aforementioned with a soft gaze. He noticed, he obviously did.

"S-So how long have you-"

"What's wrong?"

Jeremy shook his head no. Retracting further into himself, trying to make himself smaller. "I-Its nothing important. It's stupid really...anyways where were you I-"

"It can't be unimportant if you're crying." His rambling was cut short by Michael who wasn't about to give up with no answers.

Jeremy sighed, rubbing at his eyes. Cleaning as best as he could the tears that finally spilled from his eyes. His friend took a few steps back, knowing that sometimes being too close to Jeremy was overwhelming for him, no matter who it was. There was a slight tug at his shirt, pale slender fingers gripping at his sleeve like a lifeline.

"Does it have to do with the..." The half Filipino tried to guess, leaving out the last word of his sentence because Jeremy knew what he was talking about. No need in naming the over priced floppy disc. There was only a shake of the others head telling him, no, curly hair bouncing slightly from side to side with the motion. Michael felt a knot in his stomach, that he didn't realize was there, disappear.

"Is it about Christine ?" He knew that when Jeremy broke up with Canigula he had actually grieved. Not as Mich as either of them thought he would, but he still felt bad, it was clear. The pale teen would assure that it wasn't because of the reasons Michael had in mind, but he didn't care about that, his friend was in pain for whatever reason it may be and that made him suffer too.

"It's about you..." It was quiet enough that he could have missed it if there hadn't been an absolute silence in the basement. Jeremy met his gaze and there was so much in those blue eyes. Michael always wondered what people didn't see in the guy in front of him. How could everyone not see what he did? But maybe it was for the best, that way, no one would try to take him away from him. _They_ were a team in a _two_ player game.

"We don't have to talk about it right now if you're not ready." _'I'm not ready'_. He wasn't ready because for once, in so many years that he spent by Jeremy's side, for once he didn't know what he was thinking. There was no Squip right now to make his friend not act like himself. It was just Jeremy. But, that only made it worse because he didn't know what he was thinking, and it was terrifying.

"We...I have to. Before I chicken out and never do anything about it." Heere interjected, using his free hand to run his fingers through his hair, pulling it back in a nervous tic that his best friend knew all too well. "I...Since the whole indecent with, you know..." They locked eyes and Mell nodded, he knew, no need to name it.

"Since all of that, I began thinking and... I don't want to be a coward anymore. Not if I..." There was determination written all over his face, more determination that Michael had ever seen in him. A chill went down his spine because those eyes, those blue and so alive eyes were looking at _him_ , _through him_. It's making him weak at the knees and the heart.

It happened all in a blink of an eye. One moment they're looking at each other and at the other, they're sharing one breath. Their lips are pressed against each other and Michael is pretty sure he is A) having a very real feeling hallucination or B) he's still at his bed upstair, having a very vivid dream. The feeling of soft trembling against him tells him that this is indeed real, that Jeremy Heere if in deed kissing him. And he...he's doing nothing.

Just as he feels Jeremy about to pull away, most likely to apologize, he wraps his arms around his waist, pulling him back into a more steady kiss. The other teen is surprised but quickly melts into the new kiss. Neither of them knows exactly what they're supposed to do but once they stop thinking and simply give into the feeling, things go well. Jeremy tangles his fingers into the others soft locks while his free hand clutches onto the fabric of his best friends...boyfriends(?) shirt. Michael had him pressed against his body, arms snaked around the others thinner waist. Lips move in sync after a couple of experimental tries, soon enough finding a steady pace. In movies, the protagonist always says how the _meant to be_ kiss is so special, how they feel fireworks and electricity. But this, right here and now, doesn't feel like that. The kiss they're sharing feel comfortable, familiar, natural. It feels almost common, like the way they hug each other when they know it's been a bad day. It feels secure, like the way they help each other through a panic attack. It feels right and easy and so satisfying. It's warm and maybe a bit sloppy but it's perfect that way. 

"So..." Jeremy starts once they separate to finally catch their breath. Both of them are flustered but most noticeably, happy. "that happened."

"You're a jerk you know that?" Michael cocks and eyebrow while he talks and Jeremy looks scared for a moment.

"W-What, why? Did I mess up ev-" Michael shut him up by joining their lips once again. It's a simple and chaste peck on the lips but it still serves its function.

"You should have kissed me way sooner." 

"O-Oh..." At that, he smiles, all of his previous fear dissipating. "I'm sorry."

"You better be. You know how much I've waited for this!?" The half Filipino asks with fake drama, rubbing one of his cheeks against the others. Jeremy laughs and then pulls apart slightly.

"I'm sorry. But on the bright side...we could make up for the lost time?" He suggests and _holy hell this guy is going to be the death of me_ is the only thing Michael can think of in that instant.

"Well then, I guess we should get started~" The ebony skinned proposes once he's able to get his mind to function.

"Okay, but before that...we're dating, right?"

"You want us to go out?"

"Yes, more than you could possibly imagine."

"Wow, that was gross." Jeremy rolls his eyes and he snickers. "But, yes. We're dating.

Another 15 minutes of kissing and gushing out about the other seals the deal. And yes, they're still nervous over their new status, about how their relationship is going to progress. But, they have each other so it's not that bad, after all, it may be an effed up world but they make it a two player game. 

**Author's Note:**

> You know the drill my loves, comments/suggestions/criticism/requests? leave em down below!  
>  Or! you can go [harass me on Tumblr ](http://sarcasticfallenangel.tumblr.com/)! Hope you enjoyed the fic lads, gals, and non-binary pals~


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